Jinger Duggar Vuolo writes that she and husband Jeremy Vuolo not lone didn't spell connected immoderate movie dates portion they were courting successful 2016—they ne'er watched a movie unneurotic until their honeymoon.

And that movie was The Truman Show, which Jinger—who had been connected TV successful 1 world amusement oregon different since she was 10—promptly compared to her ain life, "except for the spouse-picking part."

"Five of my siblings took their archetypal enactment connected television," the 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On star notes. "That makes them, similar Truman Burbank, world stars astatine birth."

Just due to the fact that she was a small insulated increasing up doesn't mean Jinger wasn't online—and she saw erstwhile Television Without Pity's predominant Duggar musings spun disconnected into the "Free Jinger" treatment board. Mainly, arsenic acold arsenic she could tell, due to the fact that she peculiarly enjoyed as-seen-on-TV household trips to New York, Chicago, London and different large cities.

"They assumed that if I wanted to unrecorded successful a large city"—which was true—"that besides meant I wanted to interruption distant from the values of my childhood, since astir cities are overwhelmingly secular," Jinger writes. She besides suspects the critics singled her retired due to the fact that they thought her sanction was "funny."

She recovered the "Free Jinger" sentiment "caring" but misguided, arsenic she didn't spot being capable to bash immoderate she wanted without considering however it went against her oregon her family's religion to beryllium her thought of "free."

With Duggarmania successful afloat swing, 14-year-old Jinger's stolen diary coiled up listed connected eBay for $100,000 successful 2008.

However, she writes, the girl who tried to merchantability it—after taking it from Jinger's country during a sojourn to the Duggar home—ended up returning it a fewer weeks later, possibly having realized "there was hardly thing shocking for the thief to crook into a profit.

And Jinger inactive has it to this day, the diary serving arsenic a clip capsule of the idiosyncratic she wasn't.

"When I work it today, I'm struck by what is missing," she writes. "I was acrophobic to accidental the incorrect thing; to confess my interior desires adjacent successful a diary. I didn't explicit immoderate of the feelings and fears that were a changeless portion of my childhood. Rather than serving arsenic a existent chronicle of Jinger Duggar's interior life, my diary was yet different spot of performance: a instrumentality wherever I practiced projecting the mentation of myself that I wanted everyone—parents, siblings, friends, oregon fans of the show—to see."

Jinger was acrophobic of a batch arsenic a kid—thunder, tornadoes, terminal illnesses striking her family, car crashes, snakes—"but," she writes, "by the clip I was fourteen, my worst, astir all-consuming fearfulness was the fearfulness of what others thought of me."

"Convinced my assemblage was an embarrassment, I ate precise little," Jinger writes. "I'd spell days hardly consuming immoderate calories. My value dropped, but my assemblage representation didn't improve. It astir ne'er does successful those situations due to the fact that the value isn't the problem. No substance however bladed I was, I wasn't satisfied with the mode I looked. This obsession with assemblage representation was unspeakable for my carnal wellness and it surely wasn't bully for maine spiritually."

She credits her mom, Michelle Duggar—who, Jinger writes, told her that she, too, had struggled with eating issues erstwhile she was her daughter's age—for helping her get retired of that toxic headspace and marque definite she was eating balanced meals and not exercising excessively. (Michelle spoke successful 2014 astir battling bulimia arsenic a teen, having given her blessing to her daughters to stock her communicative successful their 2014 book Growing Up Duggar.)

"I felt nary judgement from her, conscionable emotion and care," Jinger recalls. "I knew I was going to beryllium good due to the fact that she had been done it." 

Jinger recalls that "from the moment" she and Jeremy started talking connected the phone, "there was an anticipation of marriage."

But specified was the quality of courtship, which was 1 of the societal rituals mandated by the Institute successful Basic Life Principles, whose teachings Jinger grew up with and touted alongside sisters Jana, Jill and Jessa in their 2014 publication Growing Up Duggar.

She and Jeremy, besides a Christian with a reformed-Baptist pastor begetter but not a subordinate of IBLP, were not set up by her parents—and the Duggars initially didn't o.k. of him, truthful it took 5 months earlier their courtship commenced. (Jeremy told Us Weekly in 2021 that Jim Bob Duggar sent him sent him a 50-page questionnaire that included immoderate "intensely idiosyncratic questions" to get a work connected the young man.) 

Afraid of having a "dating spirit" that would pb to impure thoughts oregon different astray from her righteous path, Jinger recalls not adjacent telling her sisters she liked Jeremy—so erstwhile helium asked Jessa if Jinger had talked astir him...she hadn't.

Before Jinger met Jeremy, she writes, "at slightest 20" and possibly arsenic galore arsenic 26 guys asked her dada for support to tribunal her—including 5 successful 1 week. But she didn't deliberation each that overmuch of it.

"I hadn't shared much than a passing hullo with immoderate of them," she recalls. "I'm guessing a fewer confused maine with 1 of my sisters. Several had seen the amusement and decided they wanted to tribunal a Duggar girl. A akin fig of guys were funny successful each of my sisters."

Jim Bob would inquire Jinger and her sisters what they thought and, if they said no, he'd duly relay the message. "I'm not going to lie; it was benignant of bully to archer my dad, 'Thanks, but nary thanks,' and not person to archer the suitors themselves," she writes. 

Jeremy—a college-educated erstwhile nonrecreational shot subordinate from Pennsylvania ("He was dissimilar the erstwhile guys successful each way," she writes)—was the past feline to ever inquire Jim Bob astir courting Jinger. (And Jeremy yet got the reply helium was hoping for "after 5 months of astir play conversations with my dad.")

Jinger writes of however overmuch she admired the narration older sister Jessa had with her eventual hubby Ben Seewald, whom she joined successful 2014. In fact, Jinger met her aboriginal spouse astatine an IBLP league successful Big Sandy, Texas, successful 2015 not due to the fact that Jeremy was a member, but due to the fact that helium was determination to sojourn Ben and Jessa.

Once the younger mates were courting, per the book, Ben and Jessa "pulled immoderate strings" to get Jeremy connected Jinger's ngo travel to Honduras and El Salvador truthful they could walk superior clip unneurotic and spot if they truly had chemistry.

Ben and Jessa also facilitated Jeremy's astonishment sojourn to Arkansas erstwhile they took Jinger retired to a Mexican edifice and, lo and behold, Jeremy showed up with their tray of food. "I'll ne'er hide the shock," Jinger writes, recalling "the saccharine sojourn and astatine slightest a fewer days wherever we could speech successful idiosyncratic alternatively than implicit the phone."

Ultimately they courted for 3 months and were engaged for another three before marrying connected Nov. 5, 2016. They're present parents to daughters Felicity, 4, and Evangeline Jo, 2.  

Jinger calls IBLP laminitis Bill Gothard "one of those unsafe teachers" who purports to beryllium preaching the information astir Christianity but is really teaching "a religion of their ain creation."

She erstwhile thought helium was a "modern-day prophet," she writes, recalling how in 1 of galore convey you notes she wrote him aft a sojourn to IBLP office oregon a conference, she thanked him for her precise beingness due to the fact that helium had taught his flock to procreate until they physically couldn't anymore. "If my parents had decided to halt having children erstwhile
most Americans did, I wouldn't exist," Jinger reasoned astatine the time.

IBLP and Gothard did not respond to E! News' requests for comment.

When Jinger archetypal moved to Texas to beryllium with Jeremy, she started feeling anxious everyplace she went, including church. Determined to conscionable people, she asked a chap parishioner to brunch and "cried close up until I near for the restaurant," she writes. Jinger made it done the repast but recalls feeling arsenic if she could person burst into tears astatine immoderate moment.

And she did start crying different clip erstwhile a pistillate astatine religion conscionable started asking some friendly questions successful an effort to get to cognize her. 

"The unit of figuring retired what to say, combined with the fearfulness of saying the incorrect thing, became overwhelming," she writes. "I couldn't support backmost the tears...Moments similar that astir didn't consciousness real. They were much similar out-of-body experiences. They weren't who I thought I was."

Jinger realized that she'd done astir everything successful her life either arsenic portion of a familial unit, with astatine slightest 1 genitor oregon sibling astir her astatine each times, oregon with her husband, and was "rarely successful isolated societal settings," she writes. When she was with a idiosyncratic she'd conscionable met, "I didn't cognize who I was, either, truthful I'd effort to accommodate to the different person's personality—or I'd freeze."

She ties it to the content she got from Gothard's seminars, that it was a woman's "job to beryllium agreeable and encouraging. Many of the women I interacted with seemed to marque a constituent to debar immoderate taxable that mightiness pb to conflict. They didn't privation to explicit their opinions. They didn't privation to speech astir their ain likes and dislikes; interests and hobbies."

On 1 occasion, she remembers, she found a portion of solid successful her nutrient astatine a edifice and didn't adjacent archer the staff. "I smiled and said it was nary large deal," Jinger writes. "That's a tiny illustration of an cognition I carried with maine and conflict with to this day. I presume that I indispensable beryllium blessed and spot everything successful a affirmative light, adjacent if there's solid successful my food."

Gothard preached that if wives were excessively opinionated, their husbands would question out other women "for enactment and submission," Jinger writes. 

She couldn't assistance but person that and the remainder of the IBLP leader's teachings on her caput arsenic she embarked connected matrimony to Jeremy, and she admits that during their archetypal twelvemonth successful Laredo arsenic hubby and wife she "acted similar I was the 1 liable for my husband's happiness and fidelity to me. For my full life, I'd been taught that erstwhile I married, I needed to execute for my husband."

In turn, "I ne'er expressed an opinion" that year, she writes, adjacent though Jeremy evidently wanted to cognize what she was thinking, telling her much than once, "'Jing, you're not a Stepford wife.'"

To which she replied the archetypal time, "What's a Stepford wife?"

Jinger recalls laughing with her sisters astatine the promenade portion trying connected a blonde wig as they joked astir "being acceptable for headquarters."

Meaning, she writes, that the blonde hairsbreadth made them look similar "Gothard's Girls": Girls and young women, astir with "long hair, large smiles and petite assemblage types," many from single-parent homes "without a begetter oregon gramps to usher and support them," who worked astatine IBLP office successful Hillsdale, Ill.

"For us, this wasn't much than an unusual quirk of our small world," Jinger writes. "Now, aft everything that's happened implicit the past 10 years, I recognize the gag wasn't funny."

Gothard would invite a miss to talk, she explains, and aft awhile he'd "rub the women's feet and clasp their hands, some of which were strictly forbidden betwixt a antheral and pistillate who were not married. A batch of Gothard's girls person said that Gothard would interaction them inappropriately oregon prosecute successful explicitly intersexual activity. Ten of those ladies filed a suit against Gothard successful 2016." 

He resigned from the IBLP board successful March 2014 amid a reappraisal by extracurricular ineligible counsel into allegations helium had sexually harassed and molested women. In June 2014, IBLP stated the probe determined Gothard "acted successful an inappropriate manner" but didn't perpetrate transgression acts. (Gothard said successful a since-deleted statement, "My actions of holding of hands, hugs, and touching of feet oregon hairsbreadth with young ladies crossed the boundaries of discretion and were wrong.")

The 10 plaintiffs dropped their ailment successful 2018, but said successful a joint connection to Recovering Grace, "We privation to marque it abundantly wide that by dismissing our suit astatine this time, we are not recanting our experiences oregon dismissing the incalculable harm that we judge Gothard has done by his actions and definite teachings. Nor are we disregarding that his enactment chose to support themselves alternatively of those nether their care."

Gothard, present 88, has denied immoderate wrongdoing, stating connected his website that the aforesaid women who accused him of intersexual misconduct "had written marvelous letters of gratefulness to maine during those 20 years, thanking maine for 'being their champion friend,' 'bringing about the turning point" successful their lives, and "giving them assistance and encouragement" that they will always remember. There was ne'er a hint of harassment due to the fact that determination was none."

Jim Bob and Michelle's eldest child, Josh Duggar, 34, is presently serving a 12-year situation sentence after being convicted successful December 2021 of receiving kid pornography.

Josh was besides recovered blameworthy of 1 number of possessing kid porn, but that verdict was vacated earlier sentencing. The father of 7 with woman Anna Duggar pleaded not guilty astatine proceedings and appealed his remaining conviction successful December in hopes of getting a caller trial. The 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals is scheduled to hear arguments Feb. 16.

Jinger writes that she hasn't seen oregon spoken to her member successful astir 2 years but continues to commune for him.

"One of the hardest realities successful my beingness is that my member Josh precise publically displayed immoderate of the aforesaid hypocrisy arsenic Gothard," she writes. "He utilized his platform, and adjacent his occupation astatine the Family Research Council, to beforehand immoderate of the aforesaid ideas Gothard taught. But portion helium looked the portion successful truthful galore ways, the existent Josh appears to beryllium overmuch different. He was surviving a lie."