The huffy lads astatine GameFreak person done it again. Pokémon Scarlet and Violet propulsion the series’ wide Pokédex into 4 figures, and the peculiar 1,000th Pokémon turns retired to beryllium a golden coin surfing freak with a fanny battalion called Gholdengo. Is it going to merchantability maine crypto? Is it made of crypto?? I can’t hold to find out.

I archetypal learned astir the Gholdengo from IGN, who noted the coin entity’s striking resemblance to a General Mills cereal mascot but was different effusive successful its praise. Gholdengo, it turns out, is the evolved signifier of Gimmighoul, a Dungeons & Dragons-style mimic thorax revealed by Nintendo earlier successful the month. How that improvement takes spot is the existent magic. YouTuber nickcucc described it as, “Probably 1 of the astir tedious yet rad evolutions you’ll ever acquisition successful your full life.”

When you decision a Gimmighoul it drops golden coins. Once you’ve picked up 1,000, your Gimmighoul volition germinate into Gholdengo connected its adjacent level up. “Its assemblage seems to beryllium made up of 1,000 coins,” reads the Pokédex entry. “This Pokémon gets on good with others and is speedy to marque friends with anybody.”

I’m definite it is speedy to marque friends. One infinitesimal you’re feeding Gholdengo a Bocadillo de Jamón, the adjacent it’s talking your receptor disconnected astir however you tin output workplace Dengo Coin astatine 16 percent and you should bargain the dip connected that FTX token that conscionable blew up. Web 3.0 ain’t going to marque itself. Now beryllium a bully Pokémon trainer and ditch those TMs for immoderate NFTs.

To the grade that Gholdengo looks similar a walking Ponzi scheme, it’s a lowkey testament to the series’ ain unflagging durability done the decades. Pokémon is excessively large to fail. Scarlet and Violet’s performance issues can’t halt it from being the most pre-ordered game successful franchise history. So what if the series’ 1,000th carnal looks similar it conscionable got backmost from making DeFi TikToks astatine Burning Man?

At the extremity of the day, bully oregon bad, millions of people, myself included, volition bash immoderate it takes to get different changeable astatine catching these adorable abominations and tally them done a spreadsheet calculus truthful obtuse it would marque adjacent your H&R Block accountant weep. Even if the Pokémon successful question is simply a literal keychain, ice pick cone, oregon successful this case, Gholdengo. I’m going to drawback truthful galore of these goddamn things, and we’re going to hold our diamond hands until the seas emergence and swallow america whole.