You don’t request to beryllium a Splatoon aficionado to beryllium capable to recognise good. Mr. Coco, an tremendous wife-beater-wearing crab-like who runs a footwear shop, is purest goodness. That’s conscionable coagulated good. The store is called Crush Station, and that makes nary consciousness connected immoderate level. Perfection.

In today’s astonishingly dreary Splatoon 3 Direct, wherever they were capable to instrumentality a infinitesimal distant from describing the shades of grey appearing successful the game’s lobby, we abruptly sat up and took announcement astatine the quality of Mr. Coco.

“Get a assortment of chill kicks here,” says the paid-to-be-enthused voiceover lady, “from trainers to sandals, and even leather footwear.” I emotion that “even”! Like, wow, someway they managed to programme successful that astir hard and elusive of textures! She past adds, “It’s owned by Mr. Coco. He mightiness look intimidating, but...”

Wait, stop! Look intimidating?! He looks similar the friendliest stack of poorly rendered circles you could anticipation to meet. I genuinely person kabourophobia (I conscionable looked up the name)—I cannot look straight astatine a crab without my full assemblage wanting to rip itself isolated astatine an atomic level—and I privation to springiness this feline a hug. Intimidating helium is not.

Why are we not connected first-name presumption with this...well, we’re calling him a crab. He’s got crab pincers, and wears a t-shirt with a crab connected it, but man-alive, that is not a crab’s face. He appears to person a proboscis? And seemingly lone 4 limbs, 2 of which are tiny legs. The hairy thorax is simply a full different matter. I deliberation possibly he’s much lobster than crab? Look, I’m not a crustalogist. I conscionable had to Google Image Search for lobsters to spot if they person specified protrusions, which they do, but present my insides are made of wiggling worms of upset and danger.

The shoes helium sells volition seemingly springiness you advantages successful the game, specified arsenic upping moving speed, oregon ink resistance. Although you past person to unlock said abilities by wearing the point successful battles. Which is not truly however shoes work, unless you number this arsenic “wearing them in.” What I’m saying is, person a locomotion astir Mr. Coco’s emporium a fewer times earlier you bargain them.

Mr. Coco, you are Splatoon 3's break-out feature, contempt adjacent contention with that dumbass manta ray, Big Man.