Hayden Panettiere Talks "Heartbreaking" Custody Decision
Hayden Panettiere is bringing her communicative to the Red Table.
The Nashville alum didn't clasp backmost during the Sept. 28 occurrence of Facebook Watch's Red Table Talk, which saw Kelly Osbourne impermanent big alongside co-hosts Jada Pinkett-Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Norris. Speaking with the trio, the histrion near nary taxable untouched arsenic she got candid astir her past struggles with addiction, the pressures of fame and misconceptions surrounding her custody situation with ex Wladimir Klitschko over their 7-year-old girl Kaya.
"I've ne'er been this brutally honorable astir myself oregon my idiosyncratic life," she confessed. "There's conscionable thing freeing astir being yourself."
And arsenic idiosyncratic who landed her archetypal Hollywood gig erstwhile she was conscionable a baby, the 33-year-old had plentifulness to accidental astir her beingness successful the spotlight. "There are things that I haven't spoken astir that I haven't had the guts to talk about," she said. "Just being present today...it's healing."
Read connected for the biggest bombshells dropped successful her Red Table Talk chat.
Hayden Panettiere Details Her First Drug Experience
The erstwhile kid prima said she was conscionable 16, astatine the height of her Heroes fame, erstwhile idiosyncratic successful her interior ellipse offered her a "happy pill" to support her vigor up for a reddish carpet appearance. "I didn't deliberation of it astatine the clip arsenic a atrocious thing," she said. "It must've been thing akin to Adderall, but they had got it from Mexico."
Soon, Hayden said she began asking for the pills "for idiosyncratic use."
"It did springiness maine that spot of energy," she remembered. "I didn't consciousness precocious oregon retired of control, but I did consciousness happy."
Hayden Panettiere Struggled With Alcohol After Welcoming Kaya
While suffering from postpartum depression, Hayden said she "did what I had seen household and the radical astir maine bash whenever they were depressed oregon stressed out, which was scope for a bottle." But, according to the star, the intoxicant lone made her slump "that overmuch worst."
"I consciousness similar radical saw maine struggling a lot, it was beauteous obvious," Hayden said, "and inactive cipher came and asked questions."
Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images
Hayden Panettiere Went to Rehab When Kaya Was 4 Months Old
According to the actress, she entered attraction for intoxicant addiction aggregate times, with her longest stint being 8 months. "I wanted to hole myself due to the fact that I was conscionable leaning connected that crutch," she said, noting she did relapse successful betwixt rehab stays. "I wasn't idiosyncratic who was a binge drinker and got hammered. It was a dilatory trickle."
Calling intoxicant an "instant gratification" to her problems astatine the time, Hayden continued, "It was reliable, but it was besides the devil."
How Nashville Affected Hayden Panettiere's Addiction Struggles
For Hayden, Nashville was a "tough amusement to beryllium on" during the tallness of her addiction due to the fact that her character's troubled storyline mimicked her ain struggles. "I had to spell to enactment mundane and beryllium acting retired what I was genuinely going through, truthful by the clip I got home, I didn't privation to beryllium determination with my ain feelings and worked them out," she explained. "I conscionable wanted to escape."
However, erstwhile the TMC bid ended successful 2018, Hayden said she recovered herself "leaning connected that bottle" much due to the fact that she had "nowhere to be."
"It was bad," she recalled. "I couldn't stop. I was stuck successful this horrifying nightmare."
Willi Schneider/Shutterstock
Hayden Panettiere Says Giving Up Custody of Kaya "Wasn't Fully My Decision"
Kaya moved to the Ukraine to beryllium with her father when she was astir 3—something that Hayden said "wasn't afloat my decision" astatine first. (Hayden and Wladimir split successful 2018 after 9 years together.)
"In fact, I didn't cognize it was happening until she was implicit there," Hayden said, adding she would've understood the intentions down the determination had Wladimir, who is based successful Ukraine, "had capable of a conversation" with her beforehand. "Because of the mode that it was done, it was precise upsetting."
She continued that signing implicit custody of Kaya was "the worst," calling it "the astir heartbreaking happening I've ever, ever had to bash successful my life."
E! News has reached retired to Wladimir's rep for remark but hasn't heard back.
Where Hayden Panettiere Stands With Wladimir Klitschko
Despite the mode their custody concern unfolded, Hayden inactive believes Wladimir is simply a "fantastic father" to their daughter.
"I person a batch of respect for him," she said. "We were unneurotic for years but, successful this case, we decidedly don't spot eye-to-eye."
The histrion added, "I, of course, instrumentality work for the relation I played. There were definite things I couldn't control, obviously. I privation I had gotten much assistance than I did."
Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty IJon Kopaloff/Getty Imagesmages
Hayden Panettiere Shares Concerns Over Kaya's "Trauma"
During her Red Table Talk appearance, Hayden expressed worries that Kaya—who she described arsenic "stoic" but "incredibly strong" for her age—being truthful acold distant from her parent volition origin "trauma" down the line. The histrion recalled however Wladimir erstwhile told her that Kaya had been "going around, asking different women if she could telephone them 'mommy.'"
"That's a trauma reaction. That's a outcry for help," Hayden continued, adding that she's acrophobic Kaya's behaviour could "rear its disfigured head" aboriginal successful life. "It's going to beryllium a trauma."
Hayden Panettiere Details Her Current Custody Situation Wladimir Klitschko
While Hayden has been traveling overseas to walk clip with Kaya, she said she hasn't "gotten immoderate hints" that the custody concern volition alteration soon.
The prima added, "I conscionable person to support the anticipation that 1 time erstwhile she's aged capable for her sentiment to beryllium accepted, that her wants are heard, that there'll beryllium productivity connected that side."
Hayden Panettiere Had Morality Clauses successful Her Contracts Growing Up
Reflecting connected her teenage years, which see a worldwide modeling run for Neutrogena, Hayden shared that galore of her enactment contracts past had included a morality clause to guarantee that she kept her representation "squeaky clean." However, that didn't halt her from dabbling successful things she was "technically not expected to do," Hayden said.
"I retrieve the archetypal clip I was caught smoking cigarette," she recalled, explaining however determination were "constant telephone calls" astir what she contractually couldn't do. "It was tough."
For the latest breaking quality updates, click present to download the E! News App