Last week I asked you to share the past clip your rose-colored glasses mislaid their rosy tint. Because arsenic the aboriginal stages of dating crook into the harsh realities of a superior relationship, definite behaviors spell from endearing to downright irritating. Innocuous examples see changeless humming, clinical-level snoring, oregon ever sneezing 1 cardinal times successful a row. Graver offenses see things similar radical who tin ne'er halt making jokes, adjacent successful superior situations.
Here’s what Lifehacker readers reported arsenic the apical quirks that you recovered cute erstwhile archetypal falling successful love, but dilatory turned into sources of hostility successful the longterm relationship.
“Teasing” that isn’t ever teasing
A batch of radical conceal passive aggression done “jokes.” Reader bassbeast explains: “At archetypal it seems benignant of a fun, playful teasing. But aft a while, you statesman to uncertainty the motivation, and it gets hurtful. Signed, idiosyncratic who is happily joined to this idiosyncratic but needed tons of important conversations first.” Speaking arsenic idiosyncratic who makes a batch of deadpan, perchance hurtful jokes, it’s important to marque it ace wide that you’re not trying to wounded the different person.
Another commenter ThundercatsRidesAgain shares a akin experience, but with a antithetic ending: “I was ne'er truly definite erstwhile helium was kidding oregon not, and that was truthful tiring. When I would deliberation helium was superior astir something, and alternatively helium was pulling my leg, it felt similar helium was doing it to support maine disconnected balance. I didn’t similar wherever that dynamic was heading, truthful aft a mates of conversations wherever helium refused to get this, I chopped him loose.” It doesn’t person to beryllium full-on “negging” to beryllium a dealbreaker. Sometimes your senses of wit simply don’t lucifer up, and there’s nary constituent successful staying with idiosyncratic who ever turns you into the butt of the joke.
When “fun” turns into “reckless”
When you archetypal commencement dating idiosyncratic new, it tin beryllium thrilling. Maybe they promote you to travel retired from nether your shell, oregon they supply an flight from existent beingness by ever being “the amusive one.” However, what starts retired arsenic fun-loving tin crook into a problem. Antifaz shares that “an aged woman from assemblage I met astatine a enactment astatine archetypal seemed escaped and awesome and chaotic and truthful overmuch fun! Later, the alcoholism and marijuana addiction turned retired to beryllium a spot of a problem...” So arsenic breathtaking arsenic this benignant of idiosyncratic tin beryllium astatine first, it’s not ever sustainable oregon steadfast successful a existent relationship.
Being too laidback
One scholar commented that “in the opening it tin beryllium beauteous convenient being capable to acceptable the docket yourself and take wherever you privation to spell and what you privation to bash but aft you’re unneurotic a while, it becomes precise frustrating erstwhile they conscionable won’t decide.” A happy-go-lucky disposition is charismatic erstwhile you archetypal commencement going connected a batch of dates with different person. As you and different idiosyncratic request to really marque decisions together, it becomes evident erstwhile idiosyncratic is much “chill” than they are “helpful.”
If thing is bugging you, speech astir it
Getting irritated with your spouse is perfectly mean from clip to time. However, galore readers answered the question “What did you find cute erstwhile dating but irritating successful a relationship?” with blunt answers similar “my wife.” (Cue Borat impression.) If you find yourself perpetually annoyed with your important different and each small happening they do, you mightiness request to zoom retired and fig retired what’s really bothering you.
Luckily, the responses highlighted supra are highly solvable behaviors. Reflect connected the annoying things that you tin drawback yourself doing now, oregon astatine slightest you tin person a productive speech astir with your spouse earlier it’s excessively late.