Jill Duggar writes that she was 11 erstwhile dada Jim Bob Duggar told her that her large member Josh Duggar had "'confessed astir immoderate worldly that he's done.'"

She doesn't spell into item astir that speech with her parents oregon what Josh did, but the timing indicates this is erstwhile Josh told Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar that helium had inappropriately touched respective of his sisters, including Jill and Jessa Duggar, betwixt 2002 and 2003 (as Jill and Jessa confirmed successful 2015). Michelle told Springdale, Ark., constabulary successful 2006, per an discourtesy study made nationalist years later, that pursuing Josh's admittance they sent him to enactment with a household person who worked successful location remodeling.

While helium was gone, mentioning Josh "wasn’t off-limits," Jill writes, but they had each grown up "being perpetually reminded not to 'stir up contention among the brethren.'"

In Counting the Cost, Jill calls being discouraged from talking astir delicate subjects "a instrumentality for silence, for control, for guilt."

When the Arkansas Department of Human Services started investigating the Duggars successful 2006 aft receiving a extremity astir imaginable maltreatment (as elaborate successful the Springdale constabulary report), Jill writes that she was much disquieted than thing astir saying the incorrect happening and breaking up the family.

"So it was harder to hide the fearfulness caused by the investigation," she shares, "than the fearfulness caused by the maltreatment that DHS was looking into." (No charges were ever filed against immoderate household subordinate astatine this time.)

Jill was besides admittedly angered by the thought of chap churchgoers gossiping astir her family, believing "others were jealous of our occurrence with the tv amusement and treated america with suspicion."

Jill remembers being told that, if 19 Kids and Counting producers were going to nonstop a unit to Nepal to movie portion she and her dada were determination visiting her imaginable fellow Derrick Dillard, the footage was going to aerial whether the narration worked retired oregon not.

She agreed, Jill writes, but enactment her ft down astatine the thought of it being lone a five-day shoot, insisting she needed 2 weeks.

This time, she got her way, though she says she regrets that the infinitesimal erstwhile she and Derick archetypal laid eyes connected each different successful Nepal wasn't conscionable for them. But the other clip came successful handy, and the mates joined connected June 21, 2014. (And they honeymooned successful private.)

Michelle Duggar had six children aft the household began their tally connected TV, portion Josh's wife, Anna Duggar, had 3 by the clip Jill and Derick got married.

Jill writes successful the publication that producers expected her to archer them archetypal erstwhile she got large and past hold to archer her parents and in-laws on-camera.

She "bent the rules," she notes, telling a mates of her sisters and friends, but she and Derick did hold to archer their parents.

Jill has said she did not privation cameras successful the transportation country for the commencement of her and Derick's archetypal kid successful 2015, though they ended up compromising and allowed household members to sprout immoderate footage for the show.

Her parent "had learned however to negociate the expectations of the show…allowing them entree but being firm" astir what they could use," Jill writes successful the book.

But with sister-in-law Anna, "the unit utilized footage from 1 of her births that she'd specifically told them she did not authorize." The footage was chopped retired of reruns of that peculiar episode, Jill details, but was utilized successful aboriginal flashback clips.

TLC did not effect to E! News' petition for remark connected Jill's recollections of the accumulation successful her book.

Jill primitively wanted a location commencement for her archetypal child, she writes, but aft small advancement much than 40 hours aft her h2o broke, they went to the hospital. Son Israel was delivered by C-section aft 68 hours of labor.

After she needed an exigency C-section erstwhile her second son, Samuel, was calved successful 2017, Jill went connected commencement power to let herself clip to decently heal earlier trying to get large again.

But sensing definite members of her household wouldn't approve, she writes that she "kept it a concealed from astir everyone."

Reading In Touch Weekly's shocking 2015 exposé connected the 2006 constabulary study that detailed the molestation allegations against Josh, Jill was "instantly engulfed by a deep, each encompassing, overwhelming consciousness of horror," she writes. "They had published everything," and successful her presumption had highlighted the "most graphic, the astir scandalous, the astir achy parts of the story."

Jill recalls getting a batch of nationalist support, but besides disapproval for seemingly "blaming the incorrect people," i.e. the media and the police, alternatively than her parents. But, she adds, "I clasp Josh liable for his actions."

In 2017, a national justice dismissed Bauer Publishing arsenic a suspect successful breach-of-privacy lawsuits filed by Jill and respective of her siblings, citing the publication's First Amendment close to tally the story. Their pending complaints against the metropolis of Springdale, Ark., the Springdale Police Department and the Washington County Sheriff's Office were dismissed successful 2022, the justice penning successful his ruling that authorities were "motivated by a content that they were legally obligated" to merchandise the documents to beryllium successful compliance with the Freedom of Information Act.

The archetypal clip she saw Josh and his household astatine their parents' location post-scandal, "I didn't expect him to beryllium rather arsenic relaxed arsenic helium was," Jill describes successful the book. "And aboriginal successful the time I didn't expect him to commencement laughing—even though it was intelligibly tense laughter—when helium described being nether siege by photographers."

Jill recalls their ma scolding Josh for seeming excessively cheerful: "'Josh,' she barked. 'It's not your responsibility that this was released, but you request to cognize that you were down each this. Don't beryllium truthful arrogant.'"

When Josh's sanction showed up connected a leaked database of Ashley Madison subscribers (he denied utilizing the extramarital hookup website but publically admitted to being unfaithful to Anna), Jill writes that she confronted him implicit text, asking him if it was true.

"I got nary reply," she recalls.

Jill recalls her father's effect erstwhile she and Derick told him to talk to their lawyer after, she writes, Jim Bob refused Jill's petition to spot the declaration she signed connected her wedding time regarding her compensation (or deficiency thereof) for her information successful 19 Kids and Counting.

Without naming names, Jill describes "a consolidated effort from respective of my siblings" to crushed with her. "They deed the phones, sending voicemails and texts each time long, each 1 pleading with america to get this resolved. When that didn't work, immoderate of my siblings started visiting. They'd privation to walk hours talking it through, trying to fig retired what our occupation was and wherefore we weren't doing what Pops wanted."

One of her siblings broke ranks, Jill adds, telling her that Jim Bob had warned each of them that "if we don't basal against you some connected this, past we're lasting against him."

Jill writes that, erstwhile she and Derick questioned wherefore they hadn't been paid, Jim Bob and Michelle offered their grown kids a one-time outgo of $80,000 to "start their lives."

Eventually, Jill writes, she and Derick received $175,000 for their years connected TV.

Jill writes that she and Derick met with her parents (and a mediator) to effort to enactment done their issues, and Jim Bob accused Jill of wrongfully accusing him in a substance connection of verbal abuse. 

According to Jill, her dada said helium was "offended" by specified a assertion and asked if she was going to apologize to him.

She started to cry, she writes, and her begetter told her she was crying due to the fact that she was "guilty."

But Jill recalls pushing back, penning that she accused Jim Bob of treating her "like I'm a prodigal who's turned her backmost connected you. You dainty maine worse than you dainty my pedophile brother."

Josh is presently serving a astir 13-year situation condemnation aft being convicted successful December 2021 of receiving kid pornography. He had pleaded not guilty.

Jill writes that, erstwhile it became evident that Josh mightiness extremity up successful prison, "some of my siblings started to scope out. For the archetypal clip it was wide that immoderate of them were opening to beryllium skeptical of the communicative they'd been proceeding astatine home. As they looked for themselves astatine the Duggar household spectacle, they started to inquire their ain questions."

When Josh was recovered guilty, Jill recalls telling Derick implicit the phone, "I deliberation they got it right."

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit denied Josh's appeal for a caller proceedings successful August.

Having grown up being warned "about talking to radical extracurricular the family," Jill and Derick started counseling to assistance them process her upbringing and everything they'd been done together. 

Their therapist is among the radical thanked successful the book, for giving them "so galore tools we didn't cognize we needed erstwhile we needed them most."

In 2022, Jill and Derick moved to Oklahoma erstwhile helium got a occupation arsenic an adjunct territory lawyer for the state's 27th District.

And contrary to however Jill was homeschooled per the tenets of the Duggar family's church, their sons Israel, 8, and Samuel, 6, are enrolled successful nationalist school.

Jill writes that she doesn’t walk clip expressly with her father, but does spot her parents. The publication includes a photograph of Jim Bob and Michelle with Jill and Derick's youngest, present 14-month-old Frederick, soon aft helium was born.